Drug/Alcohol Stories

Thread title says it all. I need to be amused right now.

About 2-3 weeks ago, me and three of my other friends were stoned (I myself, was especially out of it). After the munchies had set in, we walked to McDonalds. So me and one of my friends walked into the bathroom. As I was narcissisticly checking myself out in the mirror, my idiot friend walks in on this big ass black guy taking a shit. I will never forget what the guy said, in the most stereotypical black voice:

"That shit smell! Don't it?!?"

I've got a bunch more, but that was the first one to come to mind.

I didn't have one, but the "punchline" of yours reminded me of this thing that happened a year ago, so I'll start it off by saying:

Speaking of black people....

I was high with 3 of my friends and this cool college student who rolled mad well, so she was always there. So anyway, we decide to go to the deli, and while paying for a pack of Oreos, I give the cashier like a quarter or something. He proceeds to tell me that I need to actually pay, so I say, "Sorry, I'm so stupid." This guy who's been standing next to the cashier (I guess to chat with him, he's always at that deli), just goes (again, in a totally stereotypical black accent), "Nigga, if bein' stupid was a crime, 75% of America would be in jail right now, and you would be in muthafuckin' maximum security!" My friends laughed their asses off, and it really was pretty fucking funny.

I'll tell you guys my acid story

It was 4pm on a Saturday. I had been drinking the night before so i was hungover and hadnt yet left my room all day. I knew i was going to another party that night and that i was doing acid (which i had in my possession). It was my first time and i knew that acid trips generally go 8-12 hours, so i thought now would be the time to begin. I put the tab on my tongue and sucked it for about 20 minutes while playing xbox. I began to feel the initial effects: tingling, enthusiasm, a bit of random laughing and smiling, etc.

I had to piss so i walked out of my room... and all my relatives were gathered in my living room. This wasnt hallucination. I asked my dad what the hell was going on and he said "are you serious? Its your little sister's birthday."

I was thinking "FUUUUUUCK!!!!". Dodging conversations with family members i quickly hustled my way to the bathroom to regroup and figure out how to get out of this mess. I went to take a piss and the water in the toiler bowl began pulsating in my view, getting smaller and bigger. The drugs effects were getting stronger and i was panicking. I tried calling my friend about 12 times to get me out of this mess, even though he wasnt picking up. Then my mum knocked on the door and said we were about to light the birthday candles and i had to come. Shit!

So there i was, amongst all my relatives singing happy birthday, and at this point i was beginning to trip. I found the flame on the birthday candles mesmorising (). After she blew out the candles my dad looked right at me and cracked some really terrible pun, you know, one of those "dad jokes". But because of the drugs smiled, laughed, and i was stuck in a massive laughing fit. Everyone in the room was giving me suspiscious looks and i knew i was pretty much screwed now...

Thankfully my phone rang at that moment which gave me an excuse to get the fuck out of that house. I started walking up the street to meet my friend, and i noticed how beautiful my surroundings were. I also saw A FUCKING BLACK RAINBOW in the sky.

The rest of the night i dont remember one bit. I havent done the drug ever since, though i would LOVE to. I also wanna try mushrooms soon. Anybody who enjoys their hallucinagens must try acid, its fucking amazing.

Shrooms are awesome. My friend brought some over from Switzerland, and I must say, they are badass, although they're not as strong as acid (never tried it, just going by your story).

Doesn't shrooms only give you like a 15-minute high? Unless that's salvia I'm thinking of.

I'm scared of hallucinogens. I would only do it if I had the absolute perfect setting, and a place to crash for the night.

I haven't even been drunk yet either. Although I did get a little buzzy on an occasion or two.

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Shrooms are awesome. My friend brought some over from Switzerland, and I must say, they are badass, although they're not as strong as acid (never tried it, just going by your story).

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I just suddenly remembered the day of the whole McDonalds thing, we had smoked some medical shit from California. My friend's (the same one who walked in on the dude) older brother had gotten it somehow.

Shit is powerful.

Well, I have hash on me a lot, so that always helps with weed. And yea, I was totally freaked about about using shrooms, but they don't last that long, although it was probably a bad idea to light a trash can on fire.

Also, you've never been drunk?! LMAO, that's the most fun of all!

CM Punk doesn't approve of this thread.

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But he still finds it funny of how weak-minded you people are.

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Vivido likes this.

Hungover right now.

If you want great hallucinations, I hear that ice is the way to go as far as that's concerned - a guy who lived with me in the dorms a few years back did some ice and tripped on it for a few days - dilated pupils, muttering to himself, he was that focused/off, he was studying the pattern of the brick wall...

My best drinking story would be in first year uni, and part of the initiation process. It's a thing called Rides, where you go to some guy's house, get smashed, then you put on a dress and are covered with malascis (sticky vegemite base shit). Then, you're blindfolded and driven to an unknown location. When you get there, they remove the blindfold and drive off, and you get your way back to campus.

Try explaining to cops, at 4am in the morning, in a stained dress, that you need to get home. Thank fuck my missus at the time was willing to give us a lift home when I called her.

New rule:

Never look into the mirror while stoned.

That is all.